What is Divorce?
MINNESOTA REQUIREMENTS FOR DIVORCE
Minnesota has two requirements in order to file a divorce petition:
(1) an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage, and
(2) a residency requirement of living in Minnesota for the last 180 days.
WHAT
IS DIVORCE
Divorce originated from
the Latin word ‘‘divortium’ which means separation. It can therefore be defined as a
decree by the court that a legal marriage
recognized by the State no longer exists.
Divorce is experienced by couples irrespective
of their social, religious, academic, political, or economic
status.
Divorce is motivated by uncertainty and changing circumstances[1].
WHY
PEOPLE CONSIDER DIVORCE
It
is axiomatic that there is no smoke without fire,
the same is applicable to divorce. Divorce is one of the most serious social problems
in the modern world. It has become very common teaser and it affects all levels
of society[2]. In understanding why
people consider divorce it is essential to delve into the complications of
marital relationships and the various factors that can lead individuals to
contemplate ending their marriages. Based on extensive research it is contended
that lack of commitment, financial challenges, and infidelity are some of the
leading causes of divorce in the world but age and culture may change it all[3]. It is therefore that a
marriage which has broken down and is being dissolved should be brought to an
end.
A
survey in the United States from 2005 which is considered to be the most recent
large scale report about the leading causes of divorce in the nation provides the top reasons for divorce and this is
to include; lack of commitment, constant arguing or conflict, infidelity,
marrying too young, unrealistic expectations about partner or marriage, inequality
between partners, inadequate preparation for marriage, domestic violence,
financial problems, conflict about domestic work, lack of family support,
religious differences.
COMMON REASONS FOR DIVROCE
1. Infidelity;
Infidelity is defined to
mean a voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone who is
not his or her spouse.[4] Infidelity remains a significant contributing factor for divorce
considerations. The breach of trust and emotional impact caused by extramarital
affairs can shatter the foundation of marriage, leading betrayed partners to
contemplate ending the relationship.
2. Marital
struggles;
Marriage breakdowns often
lead to unresolved conflicts, communication issues, and unmet expectations
within the relationship. These challenges create a sense of dissatisfaction and
emotional distress, prompting individuals to think about divorce as a way to
escape or address ongoing problems.
3. Communication
Breakdown;
Ineffective pattern
characterized by constant conflict, defensiveness, stonewalling, contempt can
hinder healthy dialogue between partners, frequent arguments over trivial
matters, lack of active listening, diminished emotional intimacy, increased
secrecy or dishonesty, feeling unappreciated or ignored, changes in non verbal
communications, withholding affection as punishment, lack of conflict
resolution. When communication breakdown persists without dissolution,
individuals may view divorce as an option to escape ongoing discord.
4. Unfulfilled Needs;
When fundamental needs
such as emotional support, intimacy, trust or respect are consistently unmet in
marriage, individuals may feel disconnected or unfulfilled, this lack of
fulfilment can lead to thoughts of divorce as a means to seek happiness or
fulfilment elsewhere.
5. Lack
of compatibility;
Mismatches in goals,
values, lifestyle, or personalities can erode the foundation of a marriage over
time. Couples who find themselves growing apart or unable to reconcile their
differences may consider divorce as a solution when compatibility issues become insurmountable.
6. Family
support;
The absence of family
support from extended family members or conflicts with in-laws can also strain
marriages. Whereby lack of familiar backing or interference from relatives can
create tension within the relationship and lead individuals to question the
viability of their marriage.
7. Financial
stress;
Financial disagreements over money
management are common sources of conflict in marriages. Persistent financial
stressors can strain relationships and contribute to feelings of instability or
resentment, prompting individuals to think about divorce as a way to alleviate
financial pressures.
BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE FOR DIVORCE
The
Bible provides about what constitutes
the legitimate ending of marriage to include death[5], adultery[6], sexual immorality[7], abandonment by spouse[8], treachery of marriage duties[9].
The discussion below
portrays about the requirement for divorce based on the ground of malicious desertion or sexual immorality. The Bible
provides that God hates divorce[10]. It is therefore that God
hates divorce because he has been through it. He knows the pain of betrayal
when the people walked away from his covenant relationships.
Malicious Desertion
It
is also known as abandonment; this is one of the biblical grounds for
divorce. This concept is derived from the 1 Corinthians 7:15, which
states that “But
if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under
bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.[11]”
This verse suggests that if a non believing spouse chooses to leave the
marriage, the believer is not bound to continue in that marriage.
In
cases of malicious desertion, where one spouse willfully abandons the marriage
without just cause and refuses to reconcile or fulfill their marital duties,
divorce may be considered biblically justifiable.
Sexual immorality
Is another biblical ground for divorce
as mentioned in Matthew 5:32, where
Jesus states “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any
reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever
marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery..”[12] This verse indicates that
if a spouse engages in sexual immorality, it can be a valid reason for divorce
according to biblical teachings. Whereby in this context, sexual immorality
refers to any form of sexual activity outside the bounds of marriages between a
husband and wife. Adultery is seen as a violation of the marital covenant and
can lead to irreparable damage to the
relationship.
In
summary, according to biblical teachings, divorce is permitted in cases of
malicious desertion (abandonment) and sexual immorality (adultery). These
grounds are based on specific reference in the Bible that addresses situations where the sanctity of marriage has been violated or broken irreparably. It is dangerous to go beyond what the Bible
says as it is stated in 1 Corinthians
4:6 ‘Do
not think beyond what
is written, that
none of you may be puffed up on behalf of one against the other..”
THE MUSLIM PRACTICE FOR DIVORCE
In
Islam, it is believed that married life should be filled with mercy,
compassion, and tranquility. Marriage is a great blessing. Each partner in the
marriage has certain rights and responsibilities, which are to be fulfilled in
a loving way in the best interests of the family.
When
a marriage is in danger, couples are advised to pursue all possible remedies to
rebuild the relationship, whereby divorce is allowed as a last option, but it
is discouraged. It was narrated from
Abdullah bin Umar that Muhammad once said, “Of all the lawful things,
divorce is the most hated by Allah.”[13]
It is therefore that the Qur’an
allows spouses to put marriage to an end
when marital harmony can not be attained. It goes further to provide that if the husband
has pronounced three divorces he forfeits his right to keep her as his wife[14]. Therefore the marriage has to undergo the ending procedures
which is known as talaq. The word talaq means "freeing or
undoing the knot" (Imam Raghib). It signifies the dissolution of marriage, or the
annulment of its legality is permitted in Islam as a last resort if it is not
possible to continue the marriage[15]. Certain steps need to be
taken to ensure that all options have been exhausted and both parties are
treated with respect and justice.
TYPES
OF DIVORCES IN ISLAM AND ISLAMIC
COUTNRIES
There
are three main types of divorce in Islam which are elaborated herein below:
Talaq
This is a type of divorce in
Islam defined as unilateral repudiation of the wife by the husband and does not
require the wife’s consent. The husband can pronounce Talaq up to three times,
and each time, the wife must observe a waiting period of approximately three
months to ensure she is not pregnant. During this period, the husband has the
right to take her back unless it is the third such repudiation, which is final
and irrevocable.
Khul’
(Divorce for Compensation).
In
Islam this type of divorce is where a wife returns her dowery or pays some
other sum to her husband in order to obtain a divorce. This type of divorce is
irrevocable, and the husband has no right to take her back. In other words,
this is a form of no-fault divorce referred to in the Qur’an and Sunnah where the husband’s consent
was not stated to be required, in most cases the wife is granted the ability to
divorce her husband for the simple reason of incompatibility. The basic
principle concerning this, is the verse in which Allah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
“And
it is not lawful for you (men) to take back (from your wives) any of your Mahr
(bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)
which you have given them, except when both parties fear that they would be
unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah failure to deal with each other on
a fair basis). Then if there is fear that they would not be able to keep the
limits ordained by Allah, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives
back (the Mahr or a part of it) for her Khul (annulment).” [al-Baqarah
2:229]
When
the woman is seeking
divorce for no reason, then that is not
permissible and the court ruling on divorce in this case does not count for
anything in terms of shari’ah. The woman will still remain the wife of the man.
This gives rise to a new problem, which is that this woman is regarded as a divorcee
in the eyes of the State.
Fasakh
(dissolution of marriage)
This
is a divorce where the wife has a cause or a reason to seek divorce from the
court. This type of divorce is sought if
the husband and wife do not mutually consent to divorce or the husband refuses
to give Talaq. Sometimes Faskh occurs when there is a significant reason making
it necessary or permissible such reason are financial difficulty on the part of
the husband, presence of a defect preventing intimacy.
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[1] Ibid, Asian Journal of Humanities and Social Studies.
[2] Ven B Dhammarama (SIBA-BABL 14-13), Causes and effects of divorce,
Buddhist Leadership.
[3] Dr. Danielle McGraw, a licensed clinical psychologist from Scottsdale,
Arizona, 2019 research on how divorce can change depending on age.
[4] Owens vs Owens
247 Ga. 139 (1981).
[5] 1 Corinthians 7:39; Romans 7:2-4
[6] Deuteronomy 22:22, Matthew 5: 32
[7] Deuteronomy 24; Matthew 5:33, Matthew 19:9
[8] 1 Corinthians 7
[9] Exodus 21; Esther 1; Malachi 2: 14-16
[10] Malachi 2: 16
[11] 1Corinthians 4:6
[12] Matthew 5:32,
[13] Sunan ibn Majah, the Chapters on Divorce
[14] Surah-At- Talaq 1-12
[15] Kitab Al-Talaq (The
Book of Divorce)
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